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Old 12-27-2009, 12:40 PM   #1
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Stupidity never fails to amaze...

Saw this pass through my email this morning...

Due to the following attempted terrorist attack in Detroit, your infinitely wise United States government, is here to protect YOU. Since, real security would make too much sense, you know the one that racially profiles, and has someone more then an illegal immigrant Mexican working security, the following measures have been put into place:

For all United States bound aircraft originating in a foreign country and including Puerto Rico and the United States Virgin Islands:

- Passengers will not be able to leave their seat from approximately one (1) hour prior to landing. The cockpit will inform in-flight personnel when this should be enforced.
- In-flight and cockpit personnel must refrain from making any PA announcements regarding the position of the aircraft or landing announcements. Cockpit personnel will use the IF alarm system to warn in-flight personnel to take their seats prior to landing.
- Passengers will be allowed one carry-on item or one personal item and will not be able to access this item during the one (1) hour period prior to landing.
- No items can be used/held/accessed/accessible by any passenger, including personal electronic devices, magazines, newspapers, books, etc. during the one (1) hour pre-landing period.
- In-flight personnel must collect First / Business Class PED one (1) hour and thirty (30) minutes prior to landing.
- In-flight personnel must collect all pillows and blankets one (1) hour prior to landing. Pillows and blankets must be stored in the galley and not in overhead bins.
- All on-board fixed IFE systems will be disabled and not available to our customers. Do not run or attempt to run any fixed IFE system.

So there you have it folks! Since water bottles have been considered dangerous items for years now it is time to add something new. So your magazine, newspapers, blankets and pillows are now considered terrorist items and must be confiscated by the in-flight personnel to protect YOU the flying public.

The sad part is you would think this is a joke, but it is not, and this is your Department of Homeland's Security plan to protect YOU, the hard earned taxpayer.



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Old 12-27-2009, 12:46 PM   #2
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Re: Stupidity never fails to amaze...

What do they smoke????

Lollol
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Old 12-27-2009, 01:22 PM   #3
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Re: Stupidity never fails to amaze...

The pilow is quite a good idea! If your a terrorist and have a few minutes spare, you could try to smother the pilot.....

They are really pathetic!
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Old 12-27-2009, 01:23 PM   #4
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Re: Stupidity never fails to amaze...

Yes I saw this on A.net, the guy said that Finnair was implementing it as they typed. Shear madness in my opinion. PED's are terrorist items? Yer.. only if the 'batteries holder' is filled with Semtex Jokes aside.. this is madness.. but remember: safe flying!
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Old 12-27-2009, 01:23 PM   #5
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Re: Stupidity never fails to amaze...

9 days before i fly to New York and i'm not impressed! I take it the attack happened within the last hour of flight?? If the next one happens in hour three will it be a case of banning each hour that an attack happens??

Waff-can you clarify will the IFE systems not be available on all carriers for the full flight??
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Old 12-27-2009, 03:08 PM   #6
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Re: Stupidity never fails to amaze...

What a load of balls, Does this mean if i need to go to the toilet i either pee myself or the stewardess can come hold my hand when i go to the toilet,
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Old 12-27-2009, 03:12 PM   #7
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Re: Stupidity never fails to amaze...

Quote:
Originally Posted by garuda747400 View Post
What a load of balls, Does this mean if i need to go to the toilet i either pee myself or the stewardess can come hold my hand when i go to the toilet,
Hopefully she'll hold something else!
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Old 12-27-2009, 03:13 PM   #8
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Re: Stupidity never fails to amaze...

Read that on a german online magazine. I can only shake my head about these measures!
And what about old people or little children? They can pee in their pants or what?
We can see that all the current saftey regulations avoid absolutely nothing, just bringing up new regulations.
So I suggest to ground all planes and forbid flying!
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Old 12-27-2009, 05:14 PM   #9
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Re: Stupidity never fails to amaze...

Sorry, all cabin service will be discontinued a number of hours before landing do that no passenger will have to use the lavatory. (Watch- that will be the next thing that is implemented). Heaven help anyone who has any sort of medical condition that just might need to use a facility less than an hour before landing.
By the way, there was another incident today on today's NWA/DL Flight 253 from AMS to DTW. This clown spent upwards an hour in the lavatory, according to the news reports, before going into his unruly behaviour stage! Why don't these people get a real life?
I really feel sorry for the passengers in the business class section who have paid good money to sit there becausee the airlines are now seating all these kooks up there closer to the cockpit for the last part of the flight after they do their shenanigans! Yes, once again the taxpayer and those who apy for the premium service become the victim and "bad guy" in these things. It is too bad we live in such a messed up world.
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Old 12-27-2009, 06:45 PM   #10
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Re: Stupidity never fails to amaze...

All PAX ex Australia bound for North America are subject to body search as of today.

With the measures mentioned by Waffle, why would anybody subject themselves to that sort of treatment. I don't think I will be visiting the USA again. You guys have gone nuts!!!
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Old 12-27-2009, 07:17 PM   #11
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Re: Stupidity never fails to amaze...

So basically up to an hour before landing, you are stripped of all comforts and amenities. Pillows are life threatening now
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Old 12-27-2009, 07:19 PM   #12
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Re: Stupidity never fails to amaze...

I feel much safer now. So all kinds of explosive materials only work in the last hour of the flight and if they can't be used in this hour, the whole flight is safe? Brilliant. Hopefully the terrorists don't invent a bomb that works 90 minutes before landing...
The future might be that passengers to the US will be only tranported naked and in fully anesthetized condition in containers.
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Old 12-27-2009, 07:34 PM   #13
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Re: Stupidity never fails to amaze...

I heard this on the radio news this morning and thought I had entered some sort of time warp and gone straight to April 1 rather than December 28.

Yet another reason for me not to want to visit the USA.
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Old 12-27-2009, 08:00 PM   #14
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Re: Stupidity never fails to amaze...

If im going to go to my death on a aeroplane, i want it to be quick, i dont want to sit through a 11 hour flight like a sardine for the guy to pull the trigger at the last minute.

I know this guy has issues against america and may have wanted to get a few people on american soil but makeing a bomb explode over europe on a american aircraft would have achevied the same thing, Whats the last 1 hour got to do with it.

Im sure theres thousands on the u.s terroroist list but this guy was a suspect who they had been warned about, maybe somebody should put a flight marshall next to these people.
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Old 12-27-2009, 10:07 PM   #15
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Re: Stupidity never fails to amaze...

Damn the ban on the pillows. Was hoping to see some SQ female flight attendants strip down and start pillow fights during the final hour of flight. I'm writing my Congressman on this.

Like Michael said, these regulations are stupid. The idiot on the NW flight was seated when he tried to blow up the plane. Its not like he was running up and down the aisle trying to light his crotch on fire. Speaking of which, hope the FAs waited a bit before putting out the flame on the suspect...let the fire burn his balls off. They say eunuchs can be less aggressive.
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