mather

It's easy to see why WestJet is so well liked when you read these!
An airline that can make fun of itself.

Enjoy,

Mike

West Jet airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety
lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real
examples that have been heard or reported:

On a West Jet flight (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you
want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing when a flight attendant announced, " People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it! "

On another West Jet Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the
pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and
will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to
enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

On landing, the stewardess said, " Please be sure to take all of your
belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's
something we ' d like to have."

"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane. "

"Thank you for flying West Jet Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at the Vancouver Airport, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Ontario, a
flight attendant on a West Jet flight announced, " Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

From a West Jet Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard West Jet Flight 245 to laceName w:st=[/img]VancouverlaceName> laceType w:st=" />Calgary. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you
don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public
unsupervised."

"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small
child, pick your favourite."

Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but
we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than West Jet Airlines."

"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an
emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight
attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

And from the pilot during his welcome message: "West Jet Airlines is
pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in
the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

Heard on West Jet Airlines just after a very hard landing in Edmonton.
The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to
tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it
wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."

Overheard on an West Jet Airlines flight into Regina, on a particularly
windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really
having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant
said, " Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Regina. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the
terminal."

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his
ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required
the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited,
smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.
Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with
a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why, no,! Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?"
The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"

After a real crusher of a landing in Halifax, the attendant came on with,
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."

Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you
folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane
urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of West Jet Airways."

Heard on a West Jet Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to
smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If you can
light'em, you can smoke'em."

A plane was taking off from the laceName w:st="on">WinnipeglaceName> laceType w:st="on">AirportlaceType>. After it reached a
comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain
speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from Winnipeg to
Montreal. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax ... OH, MY GOD!"
Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the
intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally
spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my
pants! "
A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"

kardar757

That is some funny S**t!!!

Chrisvalla

Southwest has some similar stories... apparently only low cost carriers have a sense of humor? I love that 'Did we land or get shot down'...lol

MarioAir

I like that one too. There were a lot of other funny ones that were very amusing. Thanks for sharing mather.

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Juneau_Flyer_18

Oh man, that was great....Always the smaller airlines have funny stuff, I agree....Good stuff! thanks for posting it!

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Juneau, Alaska